Opposite and Equal

Joe cleared his throat and walked to the large doors in front of him. He held each handle in either hand and looked down. Exhaling slowly and deeply on the handles, he tried not to remember how much he did not want to be there. He made the mistake of dropping his secret girlfriend home early one morning. His girlfriend’s father standing at the doorway put an end to the secret facet of their relationship. Every action has an opposite and equal reaction.

Joe was ‘invited’ to dinner so that his suitability as suitor could be assessed. Joe knew there was no way he would pass the interview. Too many things were stacked against him: tattoos, a litany of juvenile indiscretions, hailing from the lower strata of society, and a mother unknown, amongst other things. Joe was convinced that his girlfriend’s father wanted to humiliate him for having the impudence to date his daughter. Joe was right as rain.

Inhaling deeply, Joe whitened his knuckles against the handles and pushed them open. He looked in. He looked in and saw the sound of silence. He looked in and saw them all talking to him without speaking. He realised the room reeked of fornication and bad consequences. Joe knew that humans are savage by nature no matter how much it is dressed up. Joe might have been there for dinner but there was no doubt in his mind that Joe was the special on the menu.

The cold perspiring mug of beer mirrored Joe’s cold perspiring forehead. He sat down and downed what he hoped was his beer. Momentarily distracted by the rich quality of the brew, he looked up and smiled. Liquid courage was working overtime. Joe was more uncomfortable than afraid. His idea of formal attire was being in a pair of jeans coupled with a polo t-shirt. Shifting about in his shirt and trousers, his not so secret girlfriend’s father smiled smugly to himself. He was going to teach Joe a lesson Joe would remember for the rest of his life.

Taking a sip of his wine, Joe’s nemesis turned to look at Joe. The last of the wine trickling down his throat, Joe’s nemesis prepared to crush him with a knockout blow. He was going to go the direct route of grilling Joe about the secret affair. Squaring his shoulders, he turned to Joe and barked,

‘I understand you’ve been sexually active with my daughter!’

Joe smiled to himself. In part because images of his proclivities flashed before him and in part because he recognised what his nemesis was trying to do. Joe felt he could change many things but he also knew that human nature was not one of the things he could change. But there seemed no harm in trying: Joe looked at his nemesis in mock horror and replied

‘No, of course not! I just lie there.’